I thought he just said he needed some of your time tonight, referring to the event. If you were not (or had not been) in a R with him, you would have never seen it as a date in any form or fashion. It not only was not how you would ask a lady on a date, but it didn't even sound like something you would say to your equal business partner, IMO. It sounds like something one would say to an employee, but whatever, you are wanting it to be a date and when he doesn't specify.....then you push by asking him if it's some big date. Well his answer said volumes!
Magic, you really need to get some old fashion spunk and stop chasing after this jerk! All these "answers" he has given to you about a possible R are what men tell women when they have no intentions of committing to a long-term R. He is simply holding you at bay b/c he has to work with you. (And I'm sorry if that tears down what any of the long time posters have tried to do on this thread.) Life is just too short to mess around on a guy like this! I grantee you if just the right gal walks into his office one day.....he will forget any of these hangups he has about commitment.
Yes, you are valuable. But he doesn't see appreciate your worth. He may not want some other guy having you, but he doesn't want you badly enough. And that goes for any stage in life. If he wanted it bad enough....you wouldn't be having to drop hints, and re-clarify yourself, pressurize, and make excuses for him.
I know how frustrating it is to be with a man who won't communicate the way you can understand.....or maybe not say what you are hoping to hear. Really, I do. But why should he make any attempt to change his style, when he knows you won't be able to leave it be.....and will try to get him to say/do whatever it is you want. (Back to getting your way again.)
I agree with what Starsky said, and I agree with Gabby said (actually, I agree with all of them). I think it is a game of sorts (whether you recognize it or not) and you do have very selective hearing. It is so selective, that even when you type what he says you still don't get it. B/c you are so desperate to see and hear what you want/hope. You make excuses for him. Like, you know what he "really" feels & wants but he's just scared. Please! If he's scared of committing to you, Magic, then that should tell you how the past 20 yrs were for him. I'm sorry, b/c I know that has to hurt, and I know you try to make the past two decades sound great....and for you it was.
Whether he is in MLC, WAS, or both... and the more you continue to pressure him......(and oh Lord, do you ever)the farther away you push him.
I don't think you can do this while being his business partner b/c you can't seem to separate it from your personal relationship. That's why deciding about tonight is such a chore for you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well his answer said volumes!