I wish you the best FY. Us standing H's are hard to find and everyone of us on these boards are good men who take our vows seriously and if all people took them as seriously as we do (and they should be) we wouldn't have the D rate or so many long, good marriages ending in so much pain for everyone involved. We have to remember that everyone we see here on these boards are the good ones. The ones who are trying, each in their own way too keep their vows. If only there were more of us out there!
You did in fact state that people who try to save their M are the "good ones". Implying that people who don't, or don't seem to, are not good.
When I first came here, I felt much like you do. That the promise should be honored come hell or high water.
And I held my X's feet to that fire...
And when he pushed back, I became more angry and bitter.
My core values haven't changed. I believe in working on relationships. I just have come to realize that MY way, isn't always the only option. It isn't always the best way for the people involved.
Do I think there are better ways to end a relationship as you suggested (ie, counseling, etc...)?
Yes.
However not everyone, my X included, feels that way. And that doesn't make me any more good than he is or isn't.
And I am not bitter or angry with him or at his actions anymore. Which in the end, makes for a much happier and kinder me.
Sometimes we have to look at things from all perspectives, not just the ones that fit with what we believe.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
