What you say above is very different from,

It's really the last card I have to play

Do you see the difference?

Did/do the 2 of you have a one-up R where one does something so the other raises the stakes with the next move?

I get why legally you want an SA. You have good reasons. It's not a card to play.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss