Ambivalent, You feel indifference towards your spouse right now. You are in a place of numbness towards him. However, your reaction to the comments he made to your lawyer spun a different web. Yes, they hurt and you didn't really expect him to say the things he did. There is still a bit of feeling there, be it anger, disappointment, etc. It's going to take some time to get over his behavior and the things he says, but he has to vilify you in order to do what he's doing. After all, he can't say he was at fault or he was the one that walked away because of his infidelity. No, he's not going to admit that, so it must be you. It's going to get worse before it gets better. I know the things he said hurt terribly, but dig deep and remember...not all of what he said is true and it's Memorex...not the live feed.
Now about your friend, it appears that he's grown very comfortable w/you and is starting to show some of his flaws. This is very typical and Bea is right...usually by month 6, people settle in and flaws begin to appear. If he is aware that he's running late or you are aware that you are running late, then it's common courtesy to text or call and advise the "waiting" party that you are running late and when should the new anticipated arrival time will be. This waiting around for someone on a routine basis is passive aggressive or not very well organized. If you are somewhere waiting on him and he doesn't show within a certain amount of time, then go, have back up plans and he'll get the message that you have things to do as well as he does and that your time is just as valuable and precious as his is.
I would suggest that you have a chat w/him about this and if he does it again, have back up plans and go do something else and leave him in the wind. He's a grown man and has worked on a time schedule in the past and is quite aware of what he's doing. You are not some mistress sitting at home waiting on her "john" to come visit w/her. You are a smart, independent woman who has places to go and things to do.
I do agree w/Bea, if he's passive aggressive, it will begin to show more and if you continue w/this relationship, you'll either have to accept this lateness behavior or move on. I can see being late once in a blue moon due to traffic, etc., but not this much. Set your boundaries as he may be testing to see just how much you will act in the way he behaves.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
