Job.. I am 'desperate' and WANT to go, of course (anything to be with him).... but, want to know some of Starsky's advice on this as he was able to direct Pearlharbr in a way that got her to know her self-worth.
Being desperate is not "attractive" I know... but, just being real & honest here.
The initial response is to want to go, but to DB and do things counter-intuitively suggests that I don't go. DB'ing suggests that you don't accept "ALL" offers.
However, I see your point job in that if I should go, it shows that I can do things without expectations.... I just don't know if this is the right venue.
If you WANT to go, for just business/"fun" (and not "relationship with xBF") reasons . . .
and IF you can keep your expectations in check . . .
and IF your going can come across to xBF NOT as pursuit of him, but just as you wanting to go to this because you've always enjoyed it, and you need/want the business networking . . .
. . . then you should go, in my opinion.
However, I strongly doubt that you can keep your expectations in check. Every single thing you post just oozes with xBF, what he's doing/saying/thinking, what you are doing/saying/thinking about him, and the relationship, etc., etc., ad nauseum. That's not a criticism -- just an observation -- but IF that's what you are still at right now, that's OK. Just KNOW that, and OWN it, and say to us "I'd love to go to this, but I think I'm still way too enmeshed with xBF right now and it would probably come across as 'pursuit' and I'd probably have way too many expectations, and besides it's not cool to wear duct tape over my mouth to such an event, so . . ."
and then don't go.
Does that make sense?
I agree with Job, however -- YOU need to be able to make these routine decisions on your own.
