I think that my lack of resolution or follow through with DR has hindered me not completely detaching. My STBXH texts me daily just to sat Good morning, see how I am doing and of course on things pertaining to the D. He also is inviting me for dinner and rides on the motorcycle. I guess I don't know what I should do as he has stated that he needs the D to happen but he told me that he doesn't rule out a reconciliation for us even after the divorce is final and is being much warmer now. I need some advice please or hit with 2x4 of truth?
Last edited by CSan00; 05/28/1412:24 PM.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Still don't think you should move out. I think you need to stay in the house and let him see positive changes.
As far as GAL - I have managed to have one with an 11 month old. I know with your older kids, it should be even easier. GAL doesn't mean going out alone and doing things.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
Making an effort to eat better and work out. I need to in order to feel better about myself as I have gained 7 lbs by stress eating and very sporadic workouts. Got in my Jillian Michaels dvd this morning and eating has bee pretty good so far.
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
I guess I don't know what I should do as he has stated that he needs the D to happen but he told me that he doesn't rule out a reconciliation for us even after the divorce is final and is being much warmer now. I need some advice please or hit with 2x4 of truth?
My H says this, too. He "needs" the D. He feels like he has to have it to move forward and get rid of the stress he's feeling, but he isn't "closing the door" on us. He thinks we could R later--in 2 or 5 or 10 years. I'm trying to accept that for right now, D is the reality that I'm facing and live my life on that basis. I just haven't quite figured out how to balance hope for the future with my H with that. My DB coach thinks that the fact that he says these things is a sign of his confusion.
We were doing good and I just royally messed up. I bailed on time that my H was spending with me today and he is angry that I just left to see a movie with my friend last minute when he made the time for me. We are now NC after doing so well more like he is not talking to me now after he told me how he felt and although I apologized he is really hurt. I feel like I closed any future possibilities for us and I am in tears
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
No, you did nothing wrong. You did not close any future reconciliation based on one movie night out with a friend.
He left the M house. He is the one who needs to come back, not you.
You are GAL, you can always invite him to the next one but don't be hurt because he wants you to feel sorry.
Eat well, sleep well, exercise well and everything will fall into place.
Good luck!
"Don't chase people. Be yourself, do your own thing, and work hard. The right people - the ones who really belong in your life - will come to you. And stay." ~ Will Smith
Thanks Riley. My H has distanced himself so I am just trying to give him space. To be honest, I really did bail on him without being considerate and I understand why he would feel hurt. I apologized however the damage is done so I am just going to keep going. I can't control how he feels or his perception of me so that is for him to deal with. I'm also in the middle of packing up so I hope that I get more done by the end of this coming weekend. I feel like I have so much work to do on myself and my kids....a bit overwhelming when I think of it I have also realized that I have not been the parent I should have to my kids and how I gave up in a way (?) Need to stop feeling sorry for myself and just keep going
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
Well as I am waiting on my 1st XH to decide how soon my 17 D can go over to Japan with him and his wife as my daughter snuck out of her room tonight after telling me she was going to take a nap. I stupidly believed her and let her take a nap. I just want this to be done with as I don't know how much more I can take from her. I had decided that it was best to send her away as she had gotten in my face a couple weeks ago and I saw how defiant she is. My family doesn't support me and to be honest that is fine. I don't want anyone's approval even my STBXH. I am doing what I believe is right for myself and all of my kids because my D has put the entire family through a lot the past 3 years and I can't allow this to continue. I'm venting since I would usually vent to my STBXH but that would not be right and I need to manage on my own. I love how people you love can find so many faults in all your choices. Yet there is truth in some of them, it should be more helpful than hurtful. I have always felt like I am not good enough and always doing things wrong. I'm ready to let that belief go and be a better person for myself and my kids. I am glad to have this place. I'm looking forward for things to get better and I know that it could be worse......Praying for strength and hope
Me 34 M 2.5 (Both 2nd M) My kids-D 17,S 16,S 12 BD 2/14 D final 7/2014
