Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[mdu]

Ended up having a decent night last night. Kids were with H and I was supposed to go out with friends but that got cancelled last minute. Was able to get together with another friend (so glad I reached out to her!) and she helped reinforce that it's best to just sit back, work on myself and let H be for a while. When I start getting anxious/depressed about things I want to confront him so her counsel was really timely since I was feeling so badly yesterday.

She also helped me come up with some good GAL plans:
*Host BBQ at home with my kids, her, her daughter and grandson
*Plan group BBQs at local state parks
*Join a knitting group
*Pursue a masters degree <---this one especially got me excited, I loved undergrad & grad school. The cost might be an issue but I'm going to begin researching!

I think I also need to begin really working on thought stopping. H is constantly on my mind and somehow I have to get him out of there! I am thinking about every little thing he does and what that *might* mean. I also have been obsessive about checking this site, as if there's some magic bullet if only I could find it. I did start reading some of the tips from successful DBers and think that has been a more positive approach.

Another nice thing last night, my stepdaughter came over and stayed with me. It was a little sad but nice to catch up. It was also just nice to have someone else in the house. She's going to stay tonight too so she can see the little ones. I slept pretty well, I think in part because I felt a little more confident going to sleep thinking about the strategy you suggested Maybell, thanks again!

I'm hopeful last night was a baby step in a more positive direction for me. I just need to force myself to be disciplined and actually follow through on all of the above!