Have you actually talked to her about this issue ??
Have you explained to her that you need that within the Marriage ???
Have you expressed that not having Sexual contact isn't working for you ???
Mach, it's been a while since we talked about it and here's why:
If she's not ready then the only outcome of the convo is me sucking it up and continuing on as is, or me making a move out of the M.
Ending the M is not an option at the moment, and may never be.
Talking about it is not helpful if she is not ready. (other than little hints) Plus, like Heather said, W can sense what I want. Why put more pressure on her?
So for me, the next time I have The Big Talk, (following Michele's guidelines from SSM) it will only be because I am close to done. I am no where close.
Until then, asking for little things and initiating touch, seems a better plan. Maybe the best way to get the ball rolling, without putting major focus on it. Avoid "Big physical relationship talks."
And let me be clear... This is not all about sex. It's about physical intimacy. Holding hands, hugging, cuddling, etc. As great as sex can be, it's not the only consideration for me. If it was I'da been gone.
It's only been as of late that I've been initiating touch, as suggested by others here. I like to think of a new relationship: it is usually the man who initiates touch. I want to be confident and assertive. If W is not ready, I will pull back. After two plus years, I'm an expert at no touch!
And as far as posting about it here? I'm sorry if you or anyone else feels offended reading about a man putting the moves on his W of 30 years. It would seem some others enjoy the pleasant diversion from the normal, much more painful topics on the board.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
