My insecurity comes from a fear of abandonment. My sister was killed in an accident when I was 10 years old. Both of my parents mentally checked out due to their grief.
Regarding threatening to leave when I was mad, I actually made huge strides in correcting this with WAW over the past 2 years. However, I think the damage had been done.
Jealousy stems from a fear that I'm not good enough. "Why would WAW want to spend time with her sister? She hasn't seen me all week due to work schedules?" There are also some codependency issues there as well.
Regarding controlling my fear from previous relationships, that's a tough one for me. I think it will get worse before it gets better if things dont work out with WAW (She is by far the most trust worthy of all the women Ive dated). This issue is going to take some digging to get to the root for me.
Scorekeeping. I'm aware of scorekeeping creating issues in relationships. I think because of my codependency issues, I do a lot of the heavy lifting in the relationship. I eventually wear down and begin to get resentful.
I need to really focus on being balanced in all parts of life. Work/life/kids/recreation/personal growth/future planning etc.
