[SemperFi00]

Trying to catch up on a couple of days of posting……

W and S15 have been out of town for his DI team competition (in TN). Very proud of him and his team – 2nd year in a row they have been either 1st or 2nd in the state. They were out of town from Tu – Su. Not much contact from W while out of town except when asking me to forward their flight information or to coordinate if I was picking them up at airport. Was not as bothersome as I would have thought – maybe that means the detachment is really setting in?????

S17 & S8 and I had a good time while they were gone. All of us worked well together getting ready for school/work, making meals taking care of the house etc…. Missed s16 but not W as much as I had expected to - again maybe it is the detachment thing.

W seems stressed about being back in the house and routine but I suppose I have to let her work that out. A little bit of mind reading there but I know her well and sense her moods. Also s16 walked into the laundry room on Sunday and said she was crying so not all mind reading……..

Poor kid said that he thought it was related to some of the teenage drama experienced on the trip. I didn’t quite have the heart to tell him anything different at this point - nor do I think it is my place.

And that ^^^^ I think is an example of one of the biggest differences in me from when this whole story started….. in the past I would have tried to make the house perfect for her return (laundry, cleaning, dishes, etc…), would have been expecting some sort of acknowledgement of my efforts and then been disappointed when I didn’t get it. Also would have tried to have helped solved the drama versus just listening, validating and asking a couple of clarifying questions…..

I did a great deal of housework so that the place wasn’t a wreck when she returned, did the lawn work for our house, helped s17 with lawnwork a neighbor. And feel that I did good enough without needing / expecting any external validation.

Not much change in W actions though – seemed to pick right up with maintaining distance…..

Ugh! I know for me why I remain standing and moving forward at this point but d@mn, it would be nice for W to begin to engage…. Or quite honestly to move on so that the rest of us can begin to heal - but this limbo spot is really tough. Hate feeling this way buy it is where I am at right now (and I know that the feelings will change given some time)!