D is in the negotiating process. This is the worst thing I've ever gone through.
W's birthday is tomorrow...so many plans and dreams just gone. Sad. First time in 18 years I won't be with her to wish her a happy b-day. And I know it's my own poor decisions and choices that got me here. I realized, just too late.
Been with W since I was 24 years old. Not quite sure how to move on. I seem stuck in this fantasy that she will somehow decide she wants the M. But deep down, I know it's not going to happen.
Twin, Train, Dev...I've been reading your sitches...I'm praying for each of you. Being on the other side of what you are going through, I'm sorry for what you have all experienced.
JFred, thank you for the prayers. Want to call my H and tell him what a huge mistake he is making? LOL! I understand your pain about the birthday thing, H's birthday is in 2 weeks and knowing he will be spending it with his family and her/her kids is ROUGH. Just keep moving forward!
Me: 35 husband:39 Sons 16 and 11 from my first marriage Twins 5 (boy/girl) Daughter 3 Affair bomb 2/27/14 He moved in with ow 3/13/14 OW kicked him out 6/15/14 4/2016 he seeks help for sexual addiction
W's b-day came and went; that was a very hard day. D is still in the negotiation process. W does not bring up the D. when we do talk, which is rare, she only talks about the cats.
W went to FL with her sister (and sister's family) last week and then up to the family cottage over Memorial Day weekend. I did take care of tha cats and it was nice to see them, albeit hard to be over at the house. W came over to me at work today and thanked me for taking care of the cats while she was away.
I'm strugglng this last month or so. The realization that the M is over and she doesn't want it. Tough days. Have my IC tonight, which I suppose is good. Still find myself wishing W could just try...but I know I crossed a line and broke the vows and the trust.
Just checking in to see how your holding up? Can only imagine the difficulty and struggles you are going through. Hopefully everything you have learned and continue to learn, will help you as you travel through the next few months, on whichever road you end up on. Stay strong, and continue to improve yourself!
Holding up ok....it's been tough the last few weeks. With W's b-day, Memorial Day, the D itself, and my B-day coming up in a couple weeks. It's like there is a big piece of me missing.
I've learned a lot about myself and about the pain I caused W. Lots of guilt still there for me to get through too. Doing the best to stay atrong. IC helps, but I feel like I have taken a couple steps backward within the last couple months.
I'm following your sitch, as well as Trains, Twinmom, mdu, and others. You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily.
Glad to hear your holding up ok. It's definitely a tough time around the holidays. Myself, I imagine Father's Day will be very tough for me. Stay strong, good luck and thanks for the prayers. Still pulling for you.
Really hard day again today. W came over (we work together for the same company just down the hall from each other) to confirm I could take care of the cats while she is on vacation. She leaves tomorrow and will be back on the 15th. Hard to have a conversation with her as she talks like we're friends; no emotions, just very matter of fact. She also talked about the Dish account they have on her family's summer cottage...it's in my name right now. She talked about how next time I was over we would call them to get it switched over to her name. Again, very matter of fact when discussing. Part of me just wanted to yell "no, i don't want to do that", but I just agreed.
D is tough now too...My atty sent our proposal almost 2 months ago. We have yet to hear from W or her atty. My atty contacted W's atty, who just said that she had not had a chance to put W's responses in writing yet. That was 3 weeks ago. So I don't know what to think about that. In one way, it gives me hope that maybe W won't go through with the D. But then, W has not giving any indication she wants to do anything other than D.
Sorry, rambling, Father's Day coming up, my b-day is the day before. First one in 18 years I won't be with her...and she didn't say "have a happy birthday" or anything like that to me when she left my desk today. Hard to take. I'm a wreck these days and not getting any better.
