Scooby, The pocket knife...is this something he bought himself or did someone give it to him? Generally when they hold on to something that tightly, it generally is a gift from the op or something someone gave them from their past.
I'm glad to see your sense of humor is going strong. Hold on to it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
