Let It Go

[BklynMom]

Thanks Heather - it helps to know I am not crazy and that he is really a child.

i had a lovely weekend at the beach. A gf and I from work stayed at our boss' place near the fancy Hamptons. It was quite glorious. I hung out a bit with my boss' 11 yr old daughter and that was super fun. It gave me an idea of what was coming up.

I got back to my apartment late Sunday night and spent Monday doing chores and running errands without the kids (also found some time for yoga).

Kids came back in early evening. I hate to say this but I went a little nuts. i asked them how there weekend was and they said fine and told me nothing. I was then berating them with questions. I asked d5 if she missed me and she said not really she was busy with her cousins.

I felt really rejected and I felt totally replaced because OW was on this trip with them. I felt like she got to spend the weekend mothering my kids and missed out on that. I felt jealous of my H and his GF for having a partner to help when they have the kids. Being a single mom is hard and I feel like I miss out on some of the fun cause its only me.

Positive Note: Anyway I didnt lose it completely with the kids. Several times last night I wanted to trash H and his GF and I zipped the lip. After bedtime I read some Alanon literature and that made me feel better. Today I am writing about it here to release myself from the guilt I feel.

I am back to my happy life. I have the girls for the next 2 weeks. And I hopefully wont have to deal with ex until then.

Love you guys, hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Lets all pray for the families in Santa barbara