Spent some time tonight re-reading my first thread, and especially 25yrs advice to me. Gotta say that in all my IC, no one has ever thought I needed to hear it that way. I DID. 25yrs, you've been quiet on my thread for a while, so not sure if you are listening...but just in case: THANK YOU. You've changed everything!
I'm focusing on putting out into the universe what I would like in return...but with no expectations. This weekend went from "I don't have any plans" to nearly every chunk of time filled with something (and someone!) fun-- both with and without my D3. All because I reached out to offer and accepted invitations (without anxiety about last minute changes). It was great!
And focusing on the positives on my end have helped me not focus so much on my H.
consistent change is most important for ME.
Major 180 tonight: H was over my place to spend time with D3. Usually he gives her dinner and puts her to bed on Mondays while I'm not home. Tonight I had some work to do so I was there. She threw a fit, asking for mommy, refusing to let my H help her get ready for bed. (She is fine when I'm not around, but it is typical for her to be clingy to me when I am there).
In the past when this would happen (on the rare ocassions when H would be home in time to put D3 to bed...), we would both get stressed and upset, and I would also be annoyed and resentful that even though H was home in time for bedtime, it still all fell to me because D3 was running the show. I would give in to "save" him, which I think made him feel relieved but also resentful of me or bad about himself.
But tonight? I stayed totally calm, didn't get upset, didn't get stressed, didn't give in. And sure enough, she calmed down and he put her to bed no problem!
