Roller coaster and then some

[daring]

I'm not doing so well this weekend. I took down our wedding photo Sat night and put up other photos. When H came over yesterday to spend time with the kids my daughter told him she was upset about the picture and went into all kinds of frustrations about the situation.
He talked to me about it and asked if I was ok- I said as ok as I can be. He said I should take those pics down and do what I need to do but maybe involve our daughter in some of those decisions. Then he said he felt like earlier when I was outside with our son and the previous night when he was over hanging out with them that he felt he shouldn't be around, like I needed my space.
I told him I had done all I could- he knows how I feel, I've worked on myself, tried to help him and now all I can do is let go. He said I know. I told him I would create my own space when I needed it and he was welcome to spend time with the kids.
We all went to a movie last night with our neighbors and their kids and he seemed distant and down.
So today he's coming over to BBQ with the kids, his brother is coming up and our neighbors might come over. I feel like a $itch but I really feel like saying- " this is my house now, you don't get to just plan stuff and have people over". But his brother had already planned this before the most recent D bomb. Plus I know that him coming around more prob does give him more opportunity to realize what he will be missing.
I guess I'm somewhat doing the LRT, and I'm hoping in some way that he will respond but I'm also doing it b/c it's all I can do right now in order to keep myself sane. I'm so used to being loving and open since all of this that I feel wrong doing it and that he will think it validates some thoughts he had about my feelings toward him or his own self worth. But really- it's just how I can handle the situation without breaking down. And I hate that I am still stuck on his roller coaster of watching for responses. I know it takes at least two weeks per Michelle to know if something is changing. I just feel very lost myself right now.

One day at a time, keep detaching, keep GALing......
Not sure if any if my ramblings make sense.... This REALLY &ucks!!