Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[mdu]

Thinking more about my plan over the next week or so.

I think that the right balance of pursuing/distancing in my case is to reach out to H for idle chitchat (as he was missing that and wanting it in the M) but to not get into anything heavy (i.e., R talks, talks about the future or reconciling) right now because that will push him away. Of course if I call him constantly just to chat I'm sure that would be too much so I'm sure there's some line even with that. I'm thinking maybe every few days.

I am definitely encouraged by H's positive, warm attitude to me of late. However, in my case, I think that the real proof H is coming around will be not just friendly warmth but if I start to see him take a more romantic interest in me, e.g., touching, flirting. Perhaps in some ways H is more like a W in an A. Let's just say that he did NOT do two relationships well and the hard (no pun intended) evidence was in the romantic aspect of our relationship. Interestingly, I was all paranoid that H would take this long kid-free weekend as an opportunity to see OW (she lives 2 hours away) but now I'm not so sure. I can't imagine he would speak to me for 45 mins if he were actually with her. And I know for certain he spent a bunch of time at the house doing things around the yard. Of course he still may have some contact, I know I need to not get my hopes up, shocking things happen here all the time. But at least it seems my WORST fear (i.e., that they had a 3 day long love fest) does not seem to have materialized.

For those wondering about my 'dealbreakers', I'm definitely still planning to put those on the table eventually, when the time is right. My plan is to continue to show H that I can be the woman he really wants, hopefully he will be enticed to FULLY commit to wanting back in the M and that is when I will lay out the conditions. I didn't think I could hold out and do this path but now I think maybe I can.