Wife is Continuing Affair-When Do I Start LRT? II

[PeterV2]

Dev, Just remember this is a marathon. One week is just a blip in the grand scheme of things, although things can change in one week. I remember at the end of April I wanted to start the After the LRT but then Sandi told me to say to my WAW in an A if she tries to bring up our relationship to stop her and say, I won't talk about our relationship until the A is over and the OM is out of our lives for good. Then if she tries to bring up the R, just ask, is the affair over and if she says no then say then there nothing to talk about. Well I did that and she was as mad as hell - wouldn't talk to me. Stormed out and didn't even say goodbye. A week later she came and wanted to be held by me and told me the A was over. A week after that she came home for a night and we were intimate. She's starting to come around, but it's still very tentative. I have to be careful not to scare the squirrel away by lunging. I still suspect she's in contact with OM but not sure. Could be just withdrawal from the A.
So Dev, may I suggest you continue your detachment. I took the article at http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/ and edited it so that every sentence was personal and relevant. Changed all the "people/places/things" to W and got rid of any sentences which didn't really apply to my sitch. After several edits I had a clean copy that I would read over and over until I internalized it. That allowed me the strength to use Sandi's advice about the no R talk until A is over, which I felt was a turning point with my WAW. I also had edited "Sandi's rules" to put it in first person with the names of my W & OM where called for. Also I find that GAL is empowering. Also be happy and strong, not just for yourself but for your kids. Modelling good self-loving behavior at this time is crucial to their well-being. Be strong my friend. I know this is extremely difficult, but we're all going through very similar sitches. I truly value the mutual support.