Sometimes Mish, we can become comfortable in our discomfort. The familiar can be comforting whether it is positive or negative...it's what we know. Have you scripted yourself a victim role? Just askin'. Now, let's say he does say "yes" to marriage is that going to ensure that he remains faithful to you? Nope. Maybe that's the issue you're having a tough time with. There is no insurance plan for fidelity and that is pretty damn frightening. Married or not, he will step out on you if he wants to and you can't control that. I think you have your hopes pinned on marriage as a way of taking away that fear when maybe it's that fear itself you need to address. Anyway, just thinking out loud here, take it or leave it. I feel for you Mish!
