choosing door #2 - next part in my journey

[Georgiabelle]

Hi Matt,

I just came across your post and thought TL wouldn't mind if I posted a response on her thread. I do want to hear her response as well as I'm amazed by how she deals with her sitch- and the speed of how everything came about.

My h actually told my older 2 kids (who are under 11) that I ruined his life and have been wrong about everything the last 12 years and I'll never admit it. I would be lying if I said I'm so detached I felt nothing. However, I felt a lot less than I did 5 months ago. Like everyone , I made mistakes in my marriage. I have things that I'm working on so that they are not an issue in my next R (and sometimes I wonder how I will ever have one:). That being said, that statement is absurd. However, my h has to figure out that it's absurd. I can't force him to see otherwise. Perhaps in time he will. The operative word is time.

When I first came here, I didn't understand this whole time thing. What? I have 3 kids and need my m fixed now. I also didn't realized Rs ended this way. Isn't that crazy? I thought people argued and decided to divorce. I certainly didn't know that people said " I don't want the m to work." My h said that and that was incomprehensible to me. So, I just let him be. I've never said a word about OW to him. The lies he tells or anything of the sort. It's just best to focus on yourself and the kids.

Your posts are so emotional. I can tell how deeply you care for your W and want to save your M. However, you can't control her or FIL. I know that is difficult to digest and it's true.

Let your w go. Focus on your girls. I think there are a series of feelings the LBS feels towards the WAS. I was disgusted and repulsed my h for about 2 months. I hated that feeling because I have 3 kids with him. That's what I felt though. Now, I feel rather indifferent when I see him. And I have this pervasive feeling that I wouldn't trade places with him for anything in the world. He may be having " fun" with his gf and acting like he's 21, but I have 3 gifts to watch over. He's missing so much and he can't get this time back.

Let W be. Once you really just let her go, things will seem different. Hang in there!