I DO keep believing his intentions without the actions...OK, so he is feeding me BS (to keep me on the hook until he knows what he wants to do and... I allow it)!!
gabby?? "I don't think I you even know how your position".... what?
One thing I realize now is that my usual behaviour of when I don't feel understood (cuz If I was understood, then I would get my way, etc), I keep trying different approaches. I do not know when or how to let it go/give up. But, I am trying!!
So, today when I went to work... I kept my mouth shut, did what needed to be done. Didn't linger. Told him that I had to run into town to meet DD for a minute, then I was heading out of town too. Not my usual, "lets talk so I can clarify myself AGAIN", position.
YES!!! I totally see that his actions are not matching his words, he is ALL talk (because he wanted to make sure "we" were ok, before I went to that wedding)..... but, what happens this week when I suspect he may try to ask me out or for companionship somehow? Wouldn't that then be "action"?...... I see how minimal it would be... so not sure how to respond "IF" it should come this week.
Like I said, I beat myself up .... so, I don't need anyone being too harsh. Gentle 2X4's are ok. I truly want to understand.
Job ~ "What are you going to do? Are you going to continue sitting there waiting for him to finally say he's ready to commit? What if it never happens? What are you going to do for the next 1, 2, or even 5 years down the road...wait on him????"
Well, I don't really feel like I am "sitting"... I am out and about all over the place. I have a busy social life. I am open to meeting new people (always have been), so not "waiting" really either.... I love him and am hopeful, but "IF" I get swept off my feet, then its his loss.
~~~~~~~~~ I am trying soooo much harder to learn and understand this stuff since my weekend away. One thing for sure, is that my dealings with xbf is like a class room for me. I make mistakes and I WANT TO LEARN... even if it means I screw it all up with him. (hopefully not).
SO PLEASE !!!! TELLL ME ALL AGAIN....I am listening!!! (although, I will re-read old posts), but if someone feels the need to be straight up with me again... here is your chance. Don't just slam me with a label. Please describe where or how I can change.
I admit, I am a relentless student/person.... it is that very persistence that makes me successful in business & through 20 years of relationship. So... please be understanding that I just need to learn when and where to apply it. I also see it as a good trait too.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
