afraid I have waited too long #3

[nit84]

Thanks Riley for the comments!

I don't think it is possible to have W miss me at the moment, we live under the same roof and I am not moving out again. If she does that is up to her.

The last few days have been strange she is still saying she wants a D but told her L she want as little impact on me as possible. She went from saying she is afraid of me to "I know you wont physically harm me but I think you do want to hurt me mentally."

That is hard to validate and empathize. She trys to catch me in lies but it hasn't worked because I have been nothing but truthful with her always. When she blames or accuses me of things she usually will back off once I speak up and validate or empathize.

She still denies OM. I don't bring it up W does. She is a little upset that OM girlfriend or W not sure which has confronted her face to face.

I am letting the GF do all that work because if the OM hasn't left her yet I am not sure he will. I am DBing like crazy, continuing GAL and 180's.

I joined a gym but with my work schedule getting busy I let it lapse but working around the house and walking every night has kept me in ok shape. Once work slows I will rejoin for sure.

My guess is reality is hitting her a bit and that is why she is being more talkative than usual. That is great for me because it allows me to empathize with her but also listen to her as much as possible. She says she doesn't want to rehash the past which is awesome for me but W will then bring things up in a lighthearted but stinging way with a snide remark. If I hadn't heard it before I ask her to clarify and then I empathize with her.

I have been thinking recently that I would like to ask my W to read 5LL. It is one of about 5 books I have read and reread. It seems like it would be the most logical for her to read.

I will not let W know that I read DR or other books.

As much as I can I am trying my 180's around what I think are her LL, some seem to work others don't.

It gets frustrating though because some 180's that I thought weren't working actually have but it seems to take more time than I thought to kick in. When they do my W will comment on things and that is how I know they may be working.

I have a little time before our support hearing in 5 weeks so I am just going to keep on Praying and trying not to backsilde. I am keeping my defenses up but it gets difficult at times.

Need some support but all in all I am doing just fine.