Changing Times

[MamaB]

I'm still plugging along. I still feel very confused about D and future with my H. I did. Not think I would see him for weeks, but he was able to come back fir the weekend. I had dinner with him and my two younger D's on Saturday night. My D17 is still not talking to him. Dinner was ok, like many we used to have as a family. H took two girls to another town for the rest of the weekend, they will be home tomorrow.

I'm still trying to work through if thd A is a deal breaker for me. I don't want to have to go through this whole thing again. Also, he does want to stall th D and try MC. It would be hard with us living in different cities, but he says he will try to come every other week. I have agreed the C but not to stall D yet.

I'm also struggling with the fact D17 is disappointed with me for talking to her Dad. She is so mad and hurt, I am too, but forgiving him is easier. My family is also not a big fan of his right nos and would think I'm crazy to try. Most of ou friends still don't know so that is easier, except I'm not living my reality witb them and that is hard too.

GAL today included working out and painting a bookshelf with chalk paint, I'm on my break to let first coat dry. I hope it turns out! I'm going to girlsnight out Thursday.

I do have a meeting with investigative paralegal Tuesday for spending accout exhibit. I'm scared this will piss me off and I may find out more than I want too know. It has been such a rollercoaster these last four months and I feel numb.