New therapist and moving on......

[25yearsmlc]

Mines said nothing but no since I asked him to end it and choose me.

In fact he seems to project your making me the victim, each time he refuses. That was when I went completely dark and he's not even the least bit intrigued. No initiating at all. Unless its for work and strictly business a paying job.

I can only imagine how hard/depressing that must be. H doesn't show any interest in wanting to be a part of my life, just the kids. I think he does things like take out the garbage/cut the grass out/ask me how I am feeling out of guilt because I am pregnant.

First, why the negative mind reading? IT's NOT helping you and it's not fair. And a conscience is a good thing to have....not a bad thing. Also, His continued involvement with the kids is a POSITIVE.

Lord knows If he were the opposite, this would be even harder so please, try to remember the few positives here b/c they are present. AND There's no way he won't notice the changes you make (which you are making, right?) when he gets the kids, here's them saying good things about you, and there is no way that OW can ever compare to you, as a mother.


Try harder to Keep the anger out of the interactions and

become a woman only a fool would leave.

I can't say it will get him back, but showing the anger, WILL KEEP HIM AWAY.

Sometimes DBing is about what "not to do", and how we save ourselves, in the process of this painful ordeal.


He shows no signs of ending things or even any "cracks" in relationship with OW.


Well it's still very new to him, and you've been very emotional around him, so frankly, you'd be the last person he'd tell if there were any cracks. He needs TIME...did you look up "DueIn May" thread?? Do take a look please.

And definitely hasn't shown any signs of wanting to return to the marriage, even though the 2 things he said were wrong with our marriage I have done 180's (and he even said I changed)

Consistent change + sufficient time = change he can believe in.

What are those changes/180s? And GAL? And for how long?

IN TIME, when he's schlepping kids around and has car seats and pacifiers & a crying baby with a dirty diaper, and OW is less than perfect, (or batchit nuts b/c they are NOT HER children) then the sheer HASSLE FACTOR of all this will sink in...
not to mention when she loses her sh1t.

And when you, the "real mother", are loving and maternal and also sexy and strong and upbeat,

how can he NOT have second thoughts? Keep the road home, paved & smooth.

and please tell me what the 180s are, how you are working on them and what Gal you can manage at this time.

Also, for your child's sake and yours, I think your h ought to be there. He needs to bond with his new daughter, (that helps ALL of you.)

((( )))