4th Down And Getting A Little Anxious

[Georgiabelle]

Thanks BK. H said today that he was living his life"full tilt boogie" I'm fairly hip, although not among the college crowd. I have to google the urban dictionary to decipher the few words he says.

I took my kids to a museum today and s4 is extremely friendly. He always goes up to dads of kids and starts talking. He said. "My dad moved out and left us." D9 was mortified and embarrassed. I told her we have nothing to be embarrassed about.

I do have a question. Like I've said before, I'm a sponge and learn to live all that I can-even about this crappy sitch. I am curious. H blocked his brother and most former friends and I know we can't explain the unexplainable. However, he's allegedly in love, so why do they avoid family and old friends. If they are so happy, it would seem they would want to share it with them? I know there is no real answer-just find that odd. I'm sure some do....,,

I felt bad for d9 being embarrassed. I know that feeling because I feel embarrassed that I married him sometimes. I'm sorry. I know that isn't nice and h is probably hurting. However, it's weird being blamed for someone not living their life and ruining them. I know it isn't true-just strange thinking that I had 3 kids with this man.

I must continue detaching. I just want to get to a really, really good place. I know it takes time. I know I'm fortunate in so many ways. Some days I just feel overwhelmed and sad. IC on Tuesday.