I do not advise you to deposit money into her personal account! Only the account that pays for the expenses.

Her getting her a personal account is a step a WAW takes as her indepence gets closer. You should not boost that balance.

As for telling her parents, I believe you could can be present while she explains to her parents. Mainly to make sure she doesn't put her spin on things. If you want to say that D is not what you want, I think it would be okay........if she leaves the impression that both of you are in agreement. (However, her parents will probably ask if it is what both of you want, without you volunteering the information ). I do not believe you should get into any relationship discussion while at her parents.

Even when the in-laws love you and are not happy with your S, when push comes to shove, that is their child and they will support her. And I think most parents want their daughter to be M to a man who provides for his family.......no matter how much they like him.

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!