You are still trying to figure out what she is thinking, how she feels about her father's cancer, and all of that. When the truth is, you cant really know, right?
But what you do know is that she says she doesnt want to be married. You dont have to agree with it, but, you do have to really hear it.
You arent. Not really. Picture someone trying to get away. You dont want them to, so you grab their pant leg. So, they try harder to get away, then you hold onto tighter. And so it goes.
So, she feels how she feels. In order to honor your marriage and your wife, you need to allow her to walk this journey.
I know its hard to get your mind around. I do. But, if you dont begin to let her go, it will just make it harder all the way around.
YOu need to let go of this thing about her father, too. Doesnt matter if you like him or not. Doesnt matter if he is pushing her through this.
They are both adults. They are going to choose what they do. And no amount of trying to interpret their actions is going to change what is.
Your job is to take care of you and your kids and to get out of the way of her path.
So, the phone thing. Go to the store, do what you have to do. Not your problem what happens after that. She has to figure out how to get the number. It only takes a few minutes for you to do that.
You see how she gets angry when she thinks you are trying to stand in the way of what she thinks she wants?
Just do your thing. Stop trying to continually place the blame on her father. That doesnt really get you anywhere but angry.
Control only your stuff. Leave the rest. She needs to figure her stuff out on her own. You need to let her.
