"Ooofdah" is a Minnesotan slang term. It basically means "what the heck".
Someone once me a question during my journey that really made me think...
"Do you want to really save your marriage or do you just want to win?"
If you just want to win, I don't think you will given the choices you have made. if you just want to win I am inclined to believe that is a non-winning game.
If my W had kept telling me to "quit DBing me" I would have taken that as a hint. It isn't funny, brother. She is telling you something and you are not listening.
She is telling you to back off and give her some space. For you to continue the full court press is, IMO, Passive aggressive at best and borderline mentally abusive. This is not doing a 180. This seems to be a continuation of your past past behavior with a different wrapper.
This type of behavior is going to do nothing but push her further and further away. It also doesn't matter what your W is looking at over the fence because it is obvious it isn't you.
You have labeled your W as a WAW... Let me ask... Who walked away first? Who was the one that ignored everything she was doing to try and save the M? Yeah, buddy... That was you.
So, when your W decided to give you what you sought when did it become unacceptable? Was it because you no longer had control of the situation? Because you lost your say? Your way no longer mattered?
Dude, I was there in a lot of the same ways. I understand frustration. I understand anger.
You need to give your W space. You need to fix you. Like I have told you before... the three months you have been working on this is not going to make up for fifteen years you beat your M into the ground. Fifteen months of continued improvement might.
Keep working on you.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best out of the way things turn out” ― Art Linkletter
