Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[Barrybran]

As MrBond said, you set your boundaries for yourself and there are consequences to crossing them. When your husband is ready to earn your trust again, you let him know what you need for that to happen (transparency). Until then, what he does is out of your control, including OW's presence in his life. In the meantime, you're getting on with your own life and he can't get back in your circle until your conditions have been met. You can't force it upon him though. He has to own it himself.