Your children are old enough to let their father know what time the events are for showing animals. It's time he started building a communication link directly with your children...after all D14 is old enough to be able to give him times, once she knew them and besides...will he continue to go through you when she's left the nest?
At some point, you'll need to send the photos to him. If you want him to have them, send them today so that he's not having to contact you...unless, of course, you enjoy hearing from him.
In order to stop some of the MLC madness, you have to change. The dynamics in your situation will stay status quo until you begin to change them. You already know he's paying the push me/pull me game, so change it up. Start doing things differently, i.e., suggesting that he contact his children directly for info about their events, etc., and I would also remind your children that they need to advise their father of the times and places of events, if they want him there.
Just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
