Thanks my friends for your thoughtful advice. I think depositing money into her new bank account (when she opens one) sounds like the best option to "play it cool" (thx sandi)
As for today we had a brief talk about how we are going to break the news to her parents and our kids. Had the stupid thought of getting her parents to gang up on her to help save this marriage but for sure that would wreck this even worse.
But another "me" issue has come up ....been aware of this with counselling lightly that I have this vibe that I give off to Atara ---kind of a pouty controlling vibe whenever she does something I don't approve of. This is how I have manipulated her and made her stay and "take care of me" all these dysfunctional years.
Well now I can "recognize" it and sometimes it just breaks thru when i am 180ing. I am not even *saying* anything but there is this tension in the air and I just have to leave the room to kill it. Man! I know the only thing that will save this M is if I give her freedom to leave.....so she will be free and willing to come back.
But on a good note I joined an ultimate frisbee group. (I have never played team sports, just fun drop in ones and never frisbee) and she was quite shocked kept saying "we'll it looks like you are doing new things too!" And i am pretty convinced my WAW is in some sort of MLC too. All her new things: listening to rock music like crazy ...buying iTunes songs like crazy, smoking again after 13years break (as long as we have been married), new clothes, new sexy short haircut. If I didn't know any better WAW may be DB but I do love the new her too. She is a lot more exciting cause she is not letting me (old me) weigh her down... Thank God for both of us I am changing. We can take our new transformations and have a new transformed marriage.
Me 42 W:35 M: 14yrs T:15yrs D: 8yrs D:6yrs S:3yrs BD: "I want a D"09/03/14 Sep: 30/06/14
Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
