Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[Barrybran]

The fact is, although he's expressing *some* interest in reconciling he has yet to actually fully COMMIT to reconciling. Tonight, he described basically just letting things 'naturally' progress one way or the other (to D or toward reconciliation). Basically that at *some* point one (or both) of us would reach a point of knowing definitively what we want. 

^This is how it works!

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I ended up telling him that I really needed to think about things and speak to him again another time. This approach could obviously leave us in limbo land forever and can inpatient me really live like this for ANY length of time?? So, my natural inclination is to try to force a decision. To say 'You need to decide if you are in or out NOW and these are the conditions!

^This is not. Counterintuitive, I know. Your husband sounds confused. Your job is to make that decision easy for him by being someone he respects and can't be without. You can't pressure him into it or he'll run away.

(Ps. F*** it's hard to edit on a phone! )