Marching forward with deal breakers in hand

[mdu]

Hmmm...so had a rather interesting convo with H tonite.

The fact is, although he's expressing *some* interest in reconciling he has yet to actually fully COMMIT to reconciling. Tonight, he described basically just letting things 'naturally' progress one way or the other (to D or toward reconciliation). Basically that at *some* point one (or both) of us would reach a point of knowing definitively what we want.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I ended up telling him that I really needed to think about things and speak to him again another time. This approach could obviously leave us in limbo land forever and can inpatient me really live like this for ANY length of time?? So, my natural inclination is to try to force a decision. To say 'You need to decide if you are in or out NOW and these are the conditions!' But that's what we did during our first separation, he picked me when forced and then we ended up separated again just a few weeks later. In other words, I'm wondering if trying to force a decision really is the right thing?

I do want him to pick me but I want him to pick me because HE chooses not because he's forced. But is that realistic, given the whole addictive nature of affairs?

Hmmm....much to think about, I'm glad I got off the phone and didn't say much in reply to what he described.