Hoping to find my way

[KdogGS]

It's problematic that she is not going to meetings or doing anything regarding her issue. I did this as well at first, opting to go it alone without any support and keeping it hush hush. As I've stated before, unfortunately you can't help her along on this part.

It took my wife leaving for me to stop having a pity party and get out and GAL as a sober guy. I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me and hurt like I hurt prior to that. With that in mind, stop trying to mind read her. She doesn't even know what she needs, there's no way you can.

Cadet always posts here you have a gift, the gift of time. Use this gift of time wisely, and rather than obsessing about WAF that may or may not change her mind, find Thornton again. You and your fiance have both changed since you met and got engaged. Think back to who you were when you met, what initially attracted her to you. I bet you were a different person! Self confident? Assertive? And now what are you? Crying? Clingy? Blubbering mess? Don't worry, I was all of these things as well, and you can be in private. Put on your game face and look at yourself in the mirror. Part of AA that can be applicable to everyone is to take a fearless moral inventory, write down these things. Then address how you can improve on them with small attainable steps.

Change your attitude and change your life. Let's hear some specific goals, all about Thornton, that don't involve WAW or what she's doing or thinking. Focus on you. Goals! GO!