Newbie - bf suddenly left after 9 years

[25yearsmlc]

Italian,

hey, no one said this would be easy. It's hard to feel as if you are giving up. I really REALLY do get that.

But I can tell you two things. First, there is a difference between giving up and gracefully accepting his truth, which is that right now he chooses to be elsewhere...

Second, if my h of 30+ years now, & after raising 3 kids, were ever to have another episode or "MLC" or whatever it was, I'd bolt.

Yes, I'd quit at the first sign of a repeat, b/c life is TOO short to be in pain that I can end myself. (Meaning by moving on and getting a life and creating my own happiness, I end the pain sooner).

Life is too short to DB more than once, FOR ME...

What we're suggesting is not easy, but it's also NOT complicated.

He's so clearly not the one for you, that you have only one choice. Say bye.

It does not make you a fool for being with him, b/c no doubt he has SOME traits you value highly. That's fine!

Learn which ones he had that you treasure & trust us when we say, there's a guy out there with those good traits and NONE of the weird indecisiveness or dishonesty.

Learn what part & own whatever part YOU played in this and move along.

(I personally don't believe long distance relationships work for long without an end in sight.
A light at the end of the tunnel. And even then, it's VERY hard. I say this with the experience of being 2 Army veterans who had to be apart, a lot. But again, we had children and were married. And we made it, & that's BEFORE his whole "Alaskan Obsession" happened.

Life is short. I keep saying that to get thru to you. Don't waste more time on him than you must and don't wait or expect "good" or "useful" answers from him.

I wasted a whole year of my life asking questions that had no good or useful questions and wondering about what my h was doing/feeling/thinking/planning,

INSTEAD of putting the focus on myself and my children and our future, happy lives.

Let's hear more about those cool travels you are engaged in and your GAL and the NEW people (who don't know him or your situation!) and any 180s you want to do, soon.