Sounds as if she has a LOT of issues that are following her around....
You can't fix them ya know...
Although it certainly sounds as if you have some issues too.
I went back and re-read your first thread, and the things that you had already described about your history.
Thor, she has a TON of issues that are more deeply rooted than anything that has recently happened..
What you describe about her, it sounds as if she is trying to hide from her previous life, and run away from everything bad that has happened to her up to this point...
And you just happened to be the person that was/is the closest to her when it exploded on her. Ever hear the expression that you hurt the ones that you love the most, the most ???
When I go back and think about the concept of DBing, and all that it entails...
I think about the basic principal....
You HAVE to work on your own stuff, and become the person that YOU want to be.
Learn to act, instead of re-acting...
Let go of your fears, and live YOUR life for you. And that becomes very attractive to a WAS. It can grab their attention, and allow them to become inquisitive about the LBS, and what they walked away from....
That requires a LOT of work from you though...
Cause right now ???
In your own way....you are just as broken as she is....
As hard as it is to do, you are gonna have to reach down, grab those bootstraps, and buckle in for the ride....
What she is doing, is trying to find out who the hell she is, and she cannot do that within ANY relationship....
Sorry, it's just the way that it is...
And yes...
In her mind, everything, and everyone in her life has had more control over her, than she has had, to this point...
Is it true ??
It doesn't matter if it is true or not...
It is the way that she is feeling inside...
The guilt, and the shame of everything that has happened to her in her life, is catching up to her...
You...get to do the same thing..except that you don't have that tremendous load on your shoulders while you do it...
I know that this isn't easy, and I can only tell you from experience what helped me...
There were days when I didn't think that I was going to make it through the day, the pain was THAT intense for me...
My days were lived minute by minute, with occasional moments of clarity...
I lived in guilt over what I had done to contribute to my Marriage failing...
I lived in fear every day...
That I would be Divorced...
That I would be judged...
That I wasn't worthy of being loved, or giving love...
That I wasn't capable of fixing myself, and that I would become stagnate in life, never having anything better than what I just lost....
One day, it hit me that the worst of those things, had already happened to me. And now ?
Since they didn't kill me....I had 2 choices to make
I could let this define me, and my future...
Or, I could kick it in the ass, and define my own future...
Which one would you like ???
What does letting go of fear, look like to you ???
