I don't know that I would have apologized. You were certainly within your rights to know. One has to wonder why she would fly off the handle......if she is serious about reconciliation. I can understand her not desiring to have a long conversation about OM, but my gosh, does she not feel the least she can do is give you a few answers?
The part that bothers me is her accusing you of "prying". That is how a WAW talks when she is trying to hide things from her H. I guarantee you if you accused her of something like that, she would be totally PO.
Makes me wonder if she will cooperate with a transparency plan. She has to be honest, open, and willing......or it won't work.
I know you are trying so hard to do all the right things with her. But she should not have flown off the handle that way. Unless you use to be bad about drilling her on every little thing.....her actions were not a good sign. But that's just me. Some WAW's in an A are resistant to what is necessary for the LBH to heal, which I believe is another sign of unremorse.
You can stop apologizing for every little thing that sets her off. And the fact you had to keep on doing it.....to calm her down, is not good. Is this a common picture of how things use to be between you? If so, you need to change it now, before she moves back. Some women use their short tempers as a way to control the man. Then she makes him practically get on his knees and beg her not to be mad at him. If that sounds familiar, stop it dead in the tracks!
Next time, tell her you don't want to upset her, but there are some things you need to know in order to heal. If you've done nothing wrong......do not apologize.
Quote:
She had said at one point a month or so ago that she just wants to be taken care of. I brought that up and she said she was feeling weak at the time. I
It's not uncommon for women to feel this, especially when they are worn out or stressed. She was probably getting a taste of how she messed up her life. I just hope she's not trying to return home out of that need for someone to take care of her. And I know you want to take care of her......but be careful that you don't look like the guy who is jumping through hoops to please her. It doesn't work well on a WAW.
Remember to stand tall and don't back down from your stipulations. She may throw a fit or two, but if she sees it doesn't turn you into a pile of mush.....she will respect you more.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
