Oad, Forty seems like a magic number on here for wives to freak out. If there's no affair drawing her away from the marriage, it could be that she walled her heart off after years of you neglecting her needs.
You wife believes that her "love" for you cannot return. Simply put, she is wrong. Of course, the very LAST person that she would believe this from is you, unfortunately. What you'll need is a comprehensive plan to do the right things to attract your wife back into a R with you. Have you read DB or DR yet? There are some very basic and easy to understand concepts in their regarding how to look at and alter your behavior toward her, how not to pursue her (and what that means) etc., plus it walks you through what you can expect to see and hear from your W. I'd also recommend "His Needs Her Needs" and "Surviving An Affair" as they discuss how "romantic love" is created and will help you understand more what's going on from your Ws perspective.
This will not turn around quickly, so get ready for a long ordeal.
