Yesterday was a good day. Work was long, but I left early. Got home, cleaned up a little (asked the neighbor to keep watching kidlet so I could clean) and then H came home unexpectedly. I had mentioned I was going home early to clean. He showed up, started flirting and I gave in. We ML. He laid there a while next to me to cuddle.
Here's what I think sparked that. We have been getting along. I've been GAL and been the happiest that I've been in a long while. I've been seeing friends, doing things around the house. NOT ARGUING. Getting along with him. Being happy. I am still on an emotional rollercoaster, but the drops are less and less.
Last night was fun. I went out, saw friends I ride horses with, chatted them up. Talked about projects for the house. Rode horses. Moved some cattle around. I had cooked taco meat for H and kidlet before leaving. He complimented me on it when I got back. I was on cloud 9 from hanging out with friends, so I was in a stellar mood. I told him I had to take a shower, but then was going to watch DVR episodes of Parks and Rec, and asked if he wanted to watch it with me. He said yes. As I was walking by, I saw his wedding ring on the nightstand. I didn't say anything or stare, just kept walking. We chit chatted about work, about his plans for the weekend and mine. He seemed almost down in the dumps that I was going out to see friends at a swanky lake house, with the kiddo, going out on a boat etc. I'm really excited about it though, so I'm not going to hide my happiness. He could be there with me had he chosen to, but he does not want to be there. That's his choice. I can't help his feelings about not going.
He watched TV with me and we hung out some more. He initiated ML again. I started falling asleep, and he turned the TV off and went into the guest room.
This AM, the ring was in the same place, though that's the first time I have seen it since he filed. It's a big symbol to him, so I think that's a plus. Also - I decided to put my wedding band back on. The engagement ring I'm not ready to wear. The diamond was the same one his dad proposed to his mother with. They are divorced. We are on the rocks. I don't like his mother at all. She's evil and has contributed so much to the downfall of our marriage, but mainly because the two of us let her. So it holds a lot of negative emotions for me. My anger management counselor thinks that I'm not ready to deal with those emotions about MIL yet, so that it might be best to hold off on that one for a while. I already knew I was not ready to wear it though. But the wedding band he bought me was thoughtful, simple etc. He saw this on my hand yesterday, as I caught him looking at it. He didn't say anything, but after he saw it, his mood changed. I also noticed his wedding band out after the fact.
This morning, we both overslept alarms and the kiddo woke up both up at 6AM (usually when I have to leave!) He took the baby for me so I could get ready and run off to work. He told me he hoped I had a great day, and that he'd call me later.
Yesterday was a good day. Today has started off well. I hope the trend continues.
Me- 29 H - 36 T - 5y M - 2y D - 11 months BD#1 June 2013 BD#2 H files 10/28/13 Retrouvaille Nov 13 BD #3 H Files 2nd time 4/22/14 Fires L 7 days later. No court dates set Supposedly he's moving out?
