And she sits there with MC and denies the A. "He's just a friend."
You'll have no idea how she responds (nor does it matter) -- you will have left. The purpose of such a mini-speech is to state YOUR boundaries, NOT to get her to admit something in front of the MC (which, in my opinion, you are still WAY WAY WAY too hung up on!!!).
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And she doesn't care if we don't MC.
So what? You can't control her. What YOU would be doing is stating under what conditions YOU are willing to spend time and money on marriage counseling: no OM, and be honest in the sessions. Anything less is total disrespect and a charade.
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My one and only effective move is to file.
It may soon come to that, yes -- that's a possibility. It's really the last card you can play, however, so I think you have to try everything else first.
