BD and 6 mts later PA confirmed

[Bunches]

She said that she really knew things were not going to work last April in a car ride where I said that I did not want to get married when we did and that I did not want to have sex because she had put on weight. I don't remember saying that. But the car ride she is talking about was coming home from the hospital where my father was in a coma from a bleed formed in his brain caused by Leukemia. We had to make the decision that day to end life support, so I don't really know that I didn't say something stupid because I was emotionally torn up.

I do remember trying to convey to her a few times at the beginning of last year that things were tough when we first got married and that it had all gone faster than we should have and I was focused on the wrong things often and that caused a lot of distance. But I was trying to convey the message that I was a young idiot who didn't know how to be a husband and made mistakes. When we had those talks it was because I couldn't tell what was going on in her head and she wouldn't talk to me about them.

Whats the best 180 out of this? Don't say stupid things or just to get better at saying what I mean?