^^^ totally totally normal! And regarding spending money: every time I am faced with a choice about spending $$ on something that will help me heal and grow (therapy, a weekend retreat, a lawyer), I remind myself that he has spent thousands so far on apartment, furniture, etc so that he can heal and move on away from me. So, we do what we need and deserve to do to move on.
The reality for your H is that separation or D are really really expensive! And all your $ (at least in my state) is communal property. So, don't spend out of spite, and now that what you spend now is what you won't have on your own later if you D, but make the choice that feels right for you.
If I were you I would definitely consult a L to see what my rights and options were. Your future and financial security is at stake.
