Dealing with an ongoing affair

[PeterV2]

0She wasn't feeling too well today, so I brought her supper after work and we ate together and watched some TV. She did reach over and kiss my head at one point - that's a first. Later I asked her a question. She had said at one point a month or so ago that she just wants to be taken care of. I brought that up and she said she was feeling weak at the time. I asked her what would make her feel like I was taking care of her: what actions, behaviors and words would I be using that she would interpret as me taking care of her. She skirted around the question and brought up past examples of me not putting her first. I tried a couple of times to direct her back to answering the question but to no avail. I think she doesn't really know what that looks like - at least she can't verbalize it.
Then I said I need to feel safe in our relationship. Then I asked if the A was over. She said yes. Then I asked when the last contact with OM was. She got mad, saying "I was wondering when the other shoe would drop - always the same. You're prying. I don't like being grilled" or something to that effect. It took a lot of apologizing to calm her down but eventually she did. She then said that she is too overwhelmed by the RH business and her mum's imminent departure that she doesn't have time to sort things out in her own head. Once here mum's gone then I think there will be a great weight lifted. Still I think I spooked the squirrel tonight. She just wants to spend time with me without any relationship talk. I can do that. Things are better now than
they have been in a long time. I just need to be patient and let the process unfold - what she means when she says "believe in the process".
Yes our MC has already told me that W will need to formulate a plan to rebuild trust. Our MC does have some SBT training and is willing to work with us using that approach. She is familiar with MWD and her techniques. In fact she is amazed at what I've done to get to where I am today with W seeming to be considering R. One day at a time.