Some early movement. W texted asking if I wanted to talk over the phone.
She apologized for her upbeat tone of voice during our last call. She wanted me to know it was not an easy decision for her but felt that it came across as if she was thrilled with the choice.
And though it is a tough decision for her, she is pretty certain it is done. She said even though there are moments where she feels one way and then switches back, she is certain she is done. This back and forth drove me crazy this past year and a half as I didn't understand the flip flop. However, reading similar WAS patterns here has really helped me to see why this happens.
She wanted to clarify whether I thought we just had an argument (when I asked for a D), or if I meant that we were done. She wanted to know if I truly believed that or if it was something I simply said to MIL when we talked about what has been happening to brush her off. I said we had an argument where I said things I regret and that I did not mean we were done.
She made it clear that she was really convinced we were done and made a point of making sure I really heard her on this. That she thought we were done.
My mind reading started to ring in sensing there was something behind this.
But I resisted the urge to probe and told her 'I can understand where you are coming from'.
She also wanted it to be clear that she was not having an affair when we had the argument but she got the sense that I still thought so. I let her know I appreciated her letting me know but my level of trust with her is very low right now. It could be rebuilt but right now it is very low. I explained that her way of being evasive with questions in the recent past had led to this for me.
I didn't tell her this but I think she has begun a R with someone else.
She seemed to be reading from notes checking off points to cover while we talked. Overall, we were both calm as we talked. She asked if I had any questions. I said the floor was hers and I was here to listen to what she had to say. And that when she was ready, I wanted to hear about how her work celebration went and the visit from her parents.
She jumped right into it which surprised me as she mentioned earlier she had wanted to talk about the D logistics.
Amicable enough of a conversation hearing her excitedly describe it all. She sounded happy to tell me about it. I asked a few follow up questions here and there but for the most part, let her talk. However,after chatting for about half an hour, I had to leave and let her know we had to wrap up the call.I let her know I wanted to hear the rest of the story the next time we talked.
She said she was going on a road trip for a week beginning Saturday. I didn't ask where or with whom. She suggested we talk tomorrow night or when she gets back. We agreed to talk next weekend.
Detaching really helped me even though there were points I really wanted to say what was on my mind. I tried to validate as much as I could.
Trying hard not to over analyze the whole conversation or where this is all going. Taking it one step at a time.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. (Lao-tzu)
M:36 W:34 T:9,M:4 Me,WAH:7/2011 My apology:12/2012 Her,WAW:01/2013 ILYBINILWY:4/2013 W's EA:5/2013 Sep:9/2013 2nd EA signs:03/2014
