As I was reading along, some things stuck out to me...
"H is very deep into OW. OW has been married FIVE times and is in her own MLC - and has a lot of guys standing for her. Wonder why she is so special? I am thinking H is serious enough to dump me and marry her. He would be in trouble at work for dating her, espicially since he has made a big stink and denied it."
Listen, and really try to understand this- The ow is not special in any way. I have had this told to me many times, and it took awhile to sink in. She's been married five times? I'm thinking number six would most likely end like the rest.
"H tells me multiple times a day "Once my situation is done, I am divorcing you." Ummmmm - I did not hear you the first million times! Jerk! H still lives in the house and says "I am not moving, and I know my rights you can't kick me out of the house." What a joy to live with this. H has finally moved toothbrush to other bedroom, and is doing his own laundry."
Oh yeah, sounds like he really likes to hear himself talk. Ignore him. He may also be trying to intimidate you too with the whole "I know my rights" mantra. As long as you know yours... Don't sweat it. And if he's doing his own laundry, I see that as a bonus - lol!
" I have realized that I cannot rely on him anymore. I have family that is willing to help me through the hump."
Tough realization, isn't it? But I think it can help us move forward in doing what we need to do for ourselves and our children. Don't be afraid to ask your family for help. You need a good support system around you.
" H has not done the severe neglect of kids that I have read, but he is withdrawing some. He won't stop texting and the kids notice, espicially when we are at school function for kids and he misses the big event bc of texting OW. Now when we go biking for an example and he stop to text -- the kids just go dad is texting again and keep going and leave him behind"
For whatever reason, texting and MLC go hand in hand. It can be maddening at times to be around! I remember watching my h shovel snow one time - it took him forever to do our driveway because he needed to text the whole time. It's ridiculous, but all par for the MLC course.
"I am sure that I am wrong, but I don't feel in love with him at this point. I know it is just a feeling and can be rebuilt. Maybe I am not good at this standing thing - who knows? "
You will have moments when you feel this way. There were times when I felt so angry, disgusted, and hurt by my h 's behavior that I didn't think my feelings of love for him could ever be the same. But the anger and stuff would eventually pass, sometimes resurfacing down the line about something else. Don't be hard on yourself thinking you aren't good at standing. It's not an easy thing to do, and you will stumble many times. Just pick yourself up, and dust yourself off.
I'm glad you are feeling better and stronger. Keep taking it day by day
Bomb January 2012 - doesn't feel the same about me
~ "There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance."
