Hurt and Confussed

[oad]

Hello all, been reading for quite a while and finally got the nerve to write...my story in a nut shell (it may be a big shell lol ). On December 29th my wife dropped the hammer on me, she said i dont have the same feelings for you i used to. She said she started feeling like this since the summer when we argued about our finances, 2 years prior we both agreed I would quit my job to pursue and acting career, money was rolling in at first and everything was great. we have 2 daughters 6 and 9 and we would go on cruises and family vacations...as soon as things got bad we would argue until she said that she stopped arguing and started to pull away (in the summer). I never noticed this pull away because our sex life was still great and we really enjoyed each others company. After she told me she checked out of our marriage things started to get wierd, she started telling people that she is turning 40 and saying things like " I dont like who i am when i look in the mirror" she began loosing weight as did i from the depression, she started buying anti aging cream clothes like crazy...now i also had my faults in this as well...sometimes i would neglect to do things when she asked and i could be a little selfish at times, but i always cooked...bathed the girls and did laundrey....we where seperated in march and like an idiot i left the house for her to have her space. Fastforward to now and she is so angry at anything i do. When she said in december that she was checked out I immediately went into action and owned up to my part and began fixing myself...she felt everything I was doing was manipulating her to come back to me and that whatever I want I get but this time im not going to get her. She seems very resentful and now has hired a mediator and paid for the retainer fee. Everyone in our family is confused by her actions. If i pursue her she gets mad, if i ignore she says i dont love her, if im in the middle somehow she manages to hit a nerve and we argue...now she acts as if she is young again, she has become a social media diva....she completely has erased all fond memories of us and is always talking about her youth...Ive read the books and am implementing the last resort...but she only contacts me for the kids. She wants to do mediation and says she will not fight me on anything, she says she is sure her feelings will never come back...am I screwed??? im getting my own apartment in a week and moving on with my life and childrens life....but I still love her dearly. Is there any hope? there have been times during all of this that she tells people she thinks she may be making a mistake and that she misses me and can see us working it out, but for the last 3 weeks its been hell bent on divorce. Ive had her tailed numerous times and no affair. She doesnt really go out much and hangs out alot with her sister and brothers who are married....WTH is going on here? EA? MLC or WAW...im confused...thanks for reading look forward to the help