Ellie-Some mortgage holders will not allow you to manage escrow on your own. Mine is one of them. They gave me a competitive interest rate and knocked a little less just to keep things that way. And I think it also has to do with regulations in the individual state. Colorado has had more than our fair share of foreclosures since 2002, so I can imagine that has something to do with it.
Kat--Do you have Job Thunder out there? I get gmail updates from them a couple of times a day with local jobs. (I don't know why I get them because the secretary of state and all records here in Colorado know I'm a business owner.) I digress. I see lots of admin jobs there that pop up for $20/hr. They're the ones that require experience and more than basic skills (which I know you are in that category). I'd comb your local business journal or business section in the newspaper and see what companies are on the up - and see if they are expanding accordingly. Start making some inquiries.
And one last idea - have you ever thought of using a head hunter? Typically, the employer pays the fee. I'd go that route if you have any special skills that are not generally found... or if you have lots of skills in a variety of areas that aren't always found in the average bear either. Start thinking outside the box. You might even be able to create your own position if you can tap into what your heart really desires.
If it helps, I've been really working on this exercise for the past 6 months. At some point, I want to sell my business to someone who has the resources to take it where it can go. And then I'm going to make my move. I sort of knew all along that my heart's desire lies in doing something for families who have a member with intellectual and developmental disabilities. With these classes I'm taking to understand what services D17 will be needing when she's 18 and creating a life for her that SHE loves, I'm learning a lot about myself and my skill sets and seeing very clearly where there is a big fat donut hole out in the real world. And I see that I'm going to be convincing two local agencies here that they need ME to fill that hole. I'll write my job description and see how it plays out from there.
That's what I mean by thinking outside the box.
How about any skills that you can moonlight? I'm about to embark on a new one (maybe) doing the books for a new volleyball club here. I'm doing it for dirt cheap, but I charge others who are not nonprofits a minimum of $20/hr for my help. I'm really, really cheap (because typically the folks who call me aren't in a position to pay $75/hr), but I like doing it, and I make a little money on the side when I need it.
In fact, I think I need to refer you to one of my life coach friends. I have 2 that I met here who are very successful at it and would be happy to refer them to you. The one in DC does a lot of career work with women, and I'm thinking you'd do very well with her. Plus she's spiritual and one of my true woo-woo friends. Let me know. She's REALLY good at her job. (Plus your DB and marital paths are awfully similar...) The other one lives in OR and has a similar story as yours as well, and has your temperament. They're both lovely people.
I'd love to help if I can.
Don't forget you can request a modification of support based on current income and income outlook. I wouldn't be afraid to ask for that. I also wouldn't be afraid to ask your sons to help you out with a couple hundred a month to cover their groceries, at least. Be factual and let them know that until you get your bearings, you need all the help they can get. Your kids love you, Kat. And my best guess is that they'll be there for you when you need it the most. At the very least, if you can't do that, let them know you expect them to do house cleaning, grocery shopping, preparing meals, shuttling your daughters and managing the house while you take another job to make ends meet.
Hugs,
Betsey
p.s. My taxes and insurance went up this year too. So did my escrow. It was a little painful, but since I told myself I want to stay in my house awhile longer, I figured out the shortfall and knew that I would have spent it on something dumb anyway. That helped.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Seriously, don't pay for Match - just go to OKCupid. I saw all the same people on both the free and paid sites, no need to add to your budget expenses right now. I've had good luck on OKC.
As far as budget goes - there are two ways to improve your budget - increase income and/or decrease spending. I highly recommend the Tightwad Gazette books by Dacyzyn, and the mrmoneymustache website. I'm sure between the two you could easily reduce your expenses by $40 a month, and maybe by enough to make up the alimony shortfall too! (mrmoneymustache has a ton of information on reducing cell phone costs in particular).
Also - do you have a room that will be available to rent? Taking in a room mate can be a relatively easy way to boost your income.
As for increasing income - increasing administrative side-gigs seems the most straightforward route. You will, however, be limited by the number of hours you can work. If you could either A) start a business selling something, where you could scale up or B) do something that doesn't require your full attention, like dog-sitting (what would people pay for a friendly person to take their dog for the weekend while they're out of town?), you might be able to increase your income further.
Also - on the mrmoneymustache site, look for a blog post about jobs that can earn you $50k/yr without a college degree - lots of creative ideas in there.
The kids work part time while going to school full time. S21 buys his food for the most part and pays for his phone and car insurance. S18 just graduated and pays his own on those two things as well. He is rarely home lately. He will start college in the fall. My oldest buys his own clothes and S18 rarely allows me to spend money on him.
I will check out those additional sites. I may very well create my own second job at this rate. Thanks guys. Keep ideas coming.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Lately I keep thinking about this kid I fired some 30 years ago. When you work in a restaurant you have to wear socks. This kid had been sent home numerous times for not having socks. So you guessed it,he showed up once again with no socks and I let him go.
Now I think I should have ran up to Kmart and bought him socks. I didn't think like that then. I lived in a protective bubble of the middle class. Can I finally let this go?
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Let it go and chalk it up to a life lesson learned. 30 years ago you were still a wet behind the ears kid yourself. We all look back and think of things we could have handled differently but don't hold it as a regret.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
So I applied for a couple of jobs on elance and odesk. Feel as if I am at least starting. I keep leaning towards becoming a life coach or something along those lines. I read recently that 80% of people are not happy in their jobs. So there has to be something there.
Nothing wrong with finding your joy.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Kat727: The kid who you let go 30 years ago might have had a life change after you let him go and needed a lesson. We never know what is behind the scene. He knew the rules and didn't try to wear something easy, like socks. If it was a uniform and he didn't have money, etc. even then there's ways he could have worked it out. You didn't "let him go" out of being nasty, revenge, etc. Let, Let God. Enabling people doesn't help them. Free clothes, including socks, is available in all places and easy to get through churches, Good Will, Salvation Army, etc. Just something to think about. Only 8% of what we worry about actually comes true. That means 92% of what we are concerned about or worry about never happens.
