Newbie - bf suddenly left after 9 years

[Italian]

Also, I have been thinking a lot about whether I actually want to work on all this or not. Today I was reading threads about how hurtful it is to go through the MLC cycle, and the reconciliation process, how hard it is to get over the betrayal, and I'm asking myself... is it really worth it, to put myself through that? What for? Maybe this is a relationship better left in the past, and now that I'm a grownup, I need a grownup relationship, as well.

Maybe I'm better off starting fresh with someone new, without all that baggage to muddle through. (If he ever does come back, of course, so it might all be a moot point. But it's helping me realize... maybe I don't want him to come back, so I won't have to make that decision.)