Hi, & sorry to find you here- along with the rest of us. it's such a bust, finding out you have a crazy mate. Good news is that this forum and the people here , sharing their stories, have helped a heck of alot. maybe i wouldn't have made it so far if not for this forum and some of the friends i've made. and the outlook & attitude moderation you can get from the shared stories.
i'be been here for almost three years- i'm sorry to report it doesn't come quickly- the detachment. i was wondering today if i'm detached or not. i'm certainly less wounded and really in anguish than a few years ago. i used to think perhaps i'd just die from grief. i'd say it was about 2.5 yrs before i was anhything like near "detachment". i don't think i'm totally there, because i just found myself wondering if h down in fl (i'm in nj) - (he comes and goes (!!??) was going to see ow- and how much i detest it. good news is i'm not bleeding - bad news is, i thought about it. I am not enraged - but i do not like it one bit. i am not "getting used to" anything about this mld. i'm just tolerating it all til i see my way clerly ahead. awaiting wisdom here... tick toc tick toc
i wonder if we ever reach a totally detached state. lots of folks say they do. we all pray for it i guess.
I like Italian's comment:
Quote:
I don't want this new, mean, horrible person. I want the person he was before! Where did it go? Is it dead for good? Was it never there and I just had 'salami slices in front of my eyes' (as we say in Italy!) because I was in love?
i've definitely had salami over my eyes for about 36 years - talk about wtf???? i have a head full of salami apparently. i wonder too, today, where he went? is he in there? only God knows probably. maybe i i magined it all.
hang in there- expect the worst. and yet, what? don't become a person without hope ??? hard to get it rite- just takes time. lots and lots of time.
i'm pretty hopeful and optimistic person. this has me about giving up - but i'm still dbing - wondering if i'm nuts or him. (well, i know he is- but what does this make me?) i guess i'll find out "in the end".
hang on- you sound pretty normal and strong- it stinks and just like mwd says in book, no matter how long & awful - it feels about a million times more awful & waaay waaaay longer than eternityu. ta da - light and cheerful- that's me - ha. true...
