Just reflecting more on DBing and the finer points...particularly that I think I need to be careful to not assume one size fits all and to make sure I do what works in my particular sitch.
One interesting thing I have noted is often it is advised to stay UNemotional in all exchanges/discussions. I believe it's because it can really put pressure on the wayward spouse (but maybe there are other reasons?). In my H's case, I have found when I am emotional he is more inclinded to turn toward me and open up. Although when I say emotional I do have be careful WHAT I am being emotional about. For instance, if I get emotional about the kids he seems to move toward me, is very comforting and gets emotional too. Generally, although not always, similar if I get emotional about not wanting to divorce or wanting to try to save the M. But if I am desperate emotional like "please don't do this" or "how could you do this?" that's obviously bad. I suspect there's some nuiance here that I may not quite be getting. Thinking it all through..
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
