Scooby, I've been following you here and on the other forum and your h sounds like a real MLC winner. He's not going to play the monster role around others, but he will do so when he's alone w/you. Why? Because they always hurt the ones that are the closest to them because they feel "safe" in doing so. When the monster comes out to play and he's spewing, walk away, go to another room or take the children for a walk. You do not need to be his punching bag on any level.
Now, about the comments he continues to make about divorcing you. That is his mantra. He needs to say this many times over because he's got to convince you, himself and anyone else that may be listening. Many of them are like tape recorders and continue to hit play, rewind, and play again. Try to ignore his mantra. Eventually when he sees it's not getting to you, he just might stop it.
Your family will be there to help and support you. Don't be afraid to lean on them when you need help. You have friends who are willing to help in any way they can...all you have to do is ask.
It's a long, hard journey, but I think more so when they are living under the same roof w/the spouse. You don't have the opportunity to truly get away from their acting out as much as those who are gone. Hang in there. You've been getting great advice/support from both forums.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
